FADE
by the-warner-syndrome
Summary: (AU) "I've hidden my emotions from so many people, yet he was the one who could see through the façade. Heck, even I was fooled by myself. He found me, he saved me, he loved me." —FourTris; contains underground fighting, high school nonsense, evil groups and the inevitable chemistry between the mysterious boy and lost girl. On temporary hiatus until the end of August 2013
1. Prologue: Shit

**Full summary**

(AU Story) Tris had no memory of her life pre-accident, except that her name was Tris and that she was sixteen. 2 years post-accident, Tris lived a good life at Dauntless thanks to Tori, her "guardian" and Christina, her best friend. But when she meets a certain hot boy who calls himself Four and makes her melt just by seeing him, her life changes.

There are certain people who seem to want her dead, she's always been the center whenever a heated testosterone fight starts, and almost everyone seems to be hiding something from her. Including Four.

Four was known as the Dark and Dangerous boy in Dauntless Academy, but Tris just couldn't resist the attraction between them. And thanks to one pair project, their Flirting game might just turn out steamier than imagined. But with that comes the dangers that is the answers to Who Is Four? And maybe this will be something that Tris will never forget—Ever.

Everyday the pain of her past grows stronger and the memory of the boy who told her he loved her does, too. Tris will now have to do whatever it takes to bring her memories back, find out what happened that day and crack open the mysterious and oh-so sexy boy, who seems to be on a hot-and-cold basis with her, that's been keeping a secret. One secret that could change everything.

* * *

**Prologue: "Shit"**

In the cool December night of 2011, a family of four were driving through the snowy streets of Abnegation.

"Sis, I love you and all… but your singing is a bit… plenty much off." The older brother said. He was a little bit too honest and always selfless, just like his family. Since all of them are from Abnegation, one of the five factions, they lived and grew up in a place where not one person is self-centered and everyone… well, everyone was always cautious with their actions, not wanting to draw attention from the other factions. Maybe, just maybe, except for one.

"But you love singing along with me," She smiled. "In fact, you love singing that you always sing in your sleep."

"No, I don't." He protested calmly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes, you do."

"No, I—" He was about to say before their dad had to cut in.

"Okay, okay. Just stop fighting. Caleb, if Beatrice wants to sing then she can. And Beatrice, you shouldn't embarrass your brother like that."

_ Like something like that can embarrass him? He reads books like an Erudite, dad. He's more than embarrassing; he's a traitor, a shame, _she thought, but didn't bother voice them out. Because she knew better than to judge her brother when she, too, was a traitor. A shame.

She huffed, muttered a sorry to her brother and father. Her eyes landed to Natalie Prior—her mother—who sat on the passenger's seat beside her dad.

She had all the features Natalie had: blond hair, sparkling blue eyes and a petite-but-strong body. Beatrice wasn't the type of beautiful that will make you melt, but she was close. She's sparkling (and not in _that_ way). Wherever she went the whole room lights up, like she's a glowing light bulb. She's the type of girl you should never judge; the type of girl who will make you do anything just to see her smile. But there was one problem with Beatrice:

She's selfish, and she doesn't want to be Abnegation any longer.

But in a few months, when all sixteen-year-olds—including her—will have their Choosing Ceremony—a ceremony wherein you can switch to another faction, or stay where you were. The test she took last month already gave her the possible factions: Dauntless, Abnegation, Erudite.

Her test instructor, Tori, a Dauntless (judging by the tattoos and the fact that only Dauntless have them) told her that she was a Divergent. She didn't know what it meant, and Tori didn't want to tell her more. So she didn't push it. But the last words Tori told her was always there, floating in her mind along with the other thoughts:

"_Divergence is extremely dangerous. You understand?"_

She really didn't know what it was…but she knew better than to distrust her, because by the way she told her, she seems to know her stuff. And she never dare told anyone, even her best friend Christina.

Her trip to La La land was interrupted by the sound of her dad's nostrils flaring, and Caleb sporting a look that told her that something was going on.

"Dear," Natalie said, a voice full of worry as she held her husband's arm. "What's wrong?"

"Something's not right," He replies, nostrils flaring. "Last time we went here the roads were in one direction, not zigzags. Do you think we went the wrong way?"

"No. I checked the GPS; we're on the right track."

"Father," Caleb cuts in, which is some sort of miracle since he has never interrupted their parents' conversations before (only Beatrice had, a lot)—because it's selfish to interrupt others. "Turn around." The panic starts to rise in his voice and in that second Beatrice knows something's _definitely_ wrong.

"What?"

"Turn around, Dad. _Turn around!"_

"Caleb Prior," their mother warns calmly; a tone that makes both siblings' spines shiver. "Don't talk to your father like that—"

"No, Mom, you don't get it. We're going to die! _I'm serious_!" He protested, sounding rather desperate.

This time Beatrice said, "What the? How would you even know, Caleb." But her older brother said nothing, gulped and turned to lock his eyes with her. "_Don't_," His eyes told her. "_Because it's really, really bad_."

"Yes, Caleb, where would you even…" Their mother started, but sighed and rubbed her forehead. In anger. In the fact that she believes it herself. She doesn't know.

"Honey," Their dad says. "I… think we should—"

But in that instance, everything flashed.

Lights blocked their vision and when their dad pressed the brakes, the car skidded to a stop. There was a loud noise, and they felt the ground shaking. The mystery-sound sounded faint in a quick second—but grew louder as it moved…nearer. Caleb mustered what sounded like, "Shit."

And with that, they knew they were really going to die.

For Caleb, he knew this was going to happen. And he didn't want to think about it. He knows his family would never forgive him, and he hopes to die that way: unforgiven; to live in his own sin.

For their parents, they were… in shock. They didn't know how everything came to be and their minds stopped processing.

But for Beatrice… her life flashes in her eyes: Her childhood, her parents, Caleb, Christina, Ryan—her boyfriend. And there was something else. A boy, she recognized. But in that instant she forgot his name, but the words he must've told her swam in her head.

"_I love you, Tris. Forgive me."_

Whoever he was, she did. She's forgiving him in her thoughts and she doesn't know why. She's crying and crying and thinking about the boy's face, the cloudy blue eyes that seemed to see through her soul. And his name was on the tip of her tongue: it was... it was…

It was too late. Before the car (or what seemed to be) hit them and threw their stiffened bodies to God-knows-where, they all said muttered in unison,

_"Shit."_

* * *

**A/n:**_ Shit, indeed._  
_Next chapter will be in first person, and as the story progresses, we'll also have Four, Christina and Caleb's P.O.V.s_

_ Oooh! And there will be non-book characters (ones I made up myself). Just a few._

_**Update (4/27): **The 1st chapter will be posted on either the 28th or on May 1. I've finished the 1st chapter and I just need to rewrite and revise. It has 3k words, though. PM me if you have any suggestions for the plot, or quotes you think would fit the story and I'll insert them, somewhere :) _

_I will also be posting a Shatter Me fanfic entitled Ignite Me. Please read it when it comes out. Can I entrust you guys with that?_

_Oh and one questions: Can anyone tell me what do you do in a Community? And why do they put stories there? _

_If you have any questions, suggestions, requests or need of a random chat-friend, PM me at my account or my twitter and tumblr (link is on my profile)_


	2. Chapter 1: Tris

**Chapter 1**

_**T R I S**_

My name is Tris…Tris Prior.

I'm telling you this because it's the only memory that stayed with me since the day of the accident. It may not be my real name, but it'll keep me safe.

I don't know why I'm the only survivor, how the accident happened, or who my parents were. But there was something at the back of my mind that whispered my name. _Tris_, It said. _Tris … I_—but it ended there. Like there's a hidden barrier that just won't let the rest of the words through. The Prior...I don't know why it was the first thing that came to my mind, I wanted to change it, but somehow it stayed.

Right now I'm still lost. I decided to move on from the past and start a new life, but the guilt, the anguish and the loneliness still lingers somewhere, stalking me like I'm its prey. But I tried to brush it off, and I just can't. Why I'm telling you this is unfathomable, but maybe it's just the fact that I want someone to understand how lost my soul is right now. Someone to be able to understand the unbearable pain deep inside me.

I would be grateful for anyone who's willing to listen to my life's story, as damned and confusing it is. My life's one big tornado, friend, and it destroys everything in its path. Except for one. But enough for the fictional chit-chat and let me begin with my dramatic, probably-soap-opera-worthy life:

_Two years have passed since the accident_

Tori, the girl who took me in since they said I did not have any living relatives anymore, told me everything she could: I was an Abnegation (a faction who concentrated mainly on being selfless and caring), I was sixteen when it happened, and that I was now simply converted into Dauntless—another faction (there were five, Tori told me) that's primary trait was bravery.

The Dauntless were all below thirty, probably, and they were dare-devils or just plain bad-asses. I told Tori once that this wasn't bravery—it was stupidity—but all she said was, and I quote, "And we're damn proud."

In those two years, Tori was still a mystery to me. She was only a few years older than me, and worked as a tattoo artist, but she wasn't the type who likes to engage in a conversation. Neither did she like staying in a long one. But it was fine with me. She provides me my material and spiritual needs, I provide her with help and kindness. Unfair, I pointed out before, but she doesn't care, and I like that about her.

For the past two years I took into good use Tori's money and studied under Eric, one of the leaders. I couldn't go to Dauntless Academy yet without getting a certificate of approval from a leader. Seriously, I don't get it. Like we need to learn how to kill each other first before we can study and have jobs. Okay, okay, somehow it's convenient, but still weird.

Eric and I... well, Eric was only three or four years older than me and from what I heard from some he's as scary as hell. I couldn't disagree with the piercings and tattoos, but scary? Puh-lease. He's like a pit-bull—all bark and no bite—and trust me when I say he's taken a liking to me. Disgusting, I know, but it's pretty nice that he doesn't dare insult me.

So I trained with Eric during the day and competed in the Dauntless Undergrounds at night. That's where I met Christina, my best friend.

The Undergrounds was an arena that's literally underground where people of all (not actually) ages and sizes join to compete. I couldn't quite understand why, but it's a source of entertainment for the Dauntless. Winner gets money, obviously. And in those few fights of mine I received more than fifty thousand—winning each and every one. By the time I won fifty fights, they started calling me Princess, which doesn't sound Dauntless at all.

If it wasn't for Christina barging into my room that night I would never have met her and I wouldn't have a new and better nickname. And in some ways, I owed her. But it wasn't also for the better nickname.

"Joker," she told me that night. "Because, despite your small figure, you're tougher than cotton balls. I should know."

"Cotton balls?" I chuckled. "I think I'm tougher than those stupid cotton balls. But the stage name sounds awesome!" And in that moment we became best friends. It was a rather long story, and I'll save it for later.

Christina was actually the one who brought my "inner girl" out, as she calls it. Since Tori doesn't do girl-to-girl talk and most of the people around me are guys, I didn't actually believe in true love and girly clothes. But everything changed thanks to her.

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that Christina told me something interesting.

"Are you going to Dauntless Academy this year?" She asked me while we were at her apartment, lounging on her couch and watching action movies. I swear this girl is all too much of a guy and a girl at the same time. "Eric already approved that you go to D.A. right? Since he likes you and all. God, I get goose bumps just saying his name."

Stifling my laughter, I shook my head. "Yeah, but I'm not sure I should go. I mean people might not like me and they might laugh about my situation." Christina already knew about the fact I had amnesia two years ago, and she told me she didn't care if I was a ghost. I didn't know what she meant by that, but she decided to end the conversation at that, and I am grateful for it.

"You really should go. I don't want to go there without at least knowing someone."

"What about that guy Will? The one from your initiation two years ago who you said you had a crush on?" I smiled when her cheeks heated. Christina wasn't actually a Dauntless in-born; she was a former Candor who decided to go to Dauntless. She told me that she was tired of always being surrounded in a world of truth because it was like the Candor were pointing out that there's no perfect in life, that we're living in reality.

"Whatever. Just go with me. Please! I mean, you have a lot of cash stocked up for the whole semester, right?" She grabbed my arm and whimpered, making me laugh even more.

I wave her hands away. "Christie, I got enough to buy me a mansion!"

"Oh my God! Where—What—How... Ugh," She throws her hands in the air. "So are you going or not?"

"Well..." I trail off, teasing her a bit. My visage changes when she jumps out of the couch to kneel on the floor, much to my amusement, and clasps her hands together like she's praying.

"Fine, fine," I tell her, waving a flippant hand at her. "But if I'm going to do that I might need to move out."

"Then move out! You can pay your rents through your DUFs." Sometimes I'll never understand why she likes to abbreviate things. DUF stands for Dauntless Underground Fights, something she thought up with. Then with that small reminder, realization kicks in.

"But what if people from the DU know me there? Everyone's seen me and all, right?"

"Yeah, and you, Joker, will be the hottest, most awesome student in DA!" She beams, pretending to punch the air. "And I can kick their asses if they even talk about how lame you were at DU."

"Whatever," I roll my eyes and reach out to grab her wrist. "Better stop punching the air there, girl. You're as tough as cotton balls." She snorts at the dialogue she told me when we first met and I laughed. We never failed to put the 'tough as cotton balls' phrase in every conversation we make, be it about the Underground fights or picking out clothes.

_~oOo~_

And here I am now, staring at the ridiculously large building called Dauntless Academy, where everything is just too mainstream.

"Come on," Chrstina says, grabbing my wrist. A few minutes ago Christina decided to barge into my room (I still haven't bought my own yet, but I think I can make-do for now) to make sure I was still going. When I told her I can't because my legs feel sore from yesterday's DUF, she said, "I don't give a damn, woman. Now go and prepare yourself while I pick out your clothes. I need you to make a good first impression on the first day."

As we push open the doors, the musky smell of danger, sweat and excitement welcomes us.

I don't know if this was what I expected and I'm glad it was, or just downright disappointed for the stereotypical image: people making out, bullies, emo people and the casual smart-asses. Except for one thing: we're Dauntless—badass punks who learned to kill before we could learn of the Dauntless history, so we're more than just that.

"So," Christina says with a nervous laugh as a one kid throws a knife at another kid's locker. "Welcome to Dauntless Academy."

"Hmmm."

"Well... We should go get our schedules from the office." My grip on my messenger bag tightens and I nod. I'm used to seeing people with piercings and tattoos, but somehow, when it's your first day in "high school", you're bound to feel like you're going to throw up sooner or later.

As we walk through the halls, people's eyes snap to our direction, their gazes lingering on me. My hand reaches for Christina's arm and I try not to meet their stares. Christina gives me an encouraging nod, and we continue walking.

"Joker," I hear one of them say. My head turns to the brown-haired boy a few feet behind me. Behind him is a somewhat taller version of him, probably his brother. Before I could ignore him, the boy winks at me. I turn around, but he's not there, and so is his brother.

A hundred stares and steps latter, we stop in front of a wooden door that reads HEAD OFFICE on the glass. I knock three times before opening the door.

"Excuse m—"

My eyes focus on the guy standing before me. And I think time stopped for me to drink in his features. He's wearing black jeans, a black leather jacket and a dirty-white shirt underneath it, fitted enough to show the shape of his abs. His blue eyes are staring at me—more of like my _body_—and I see something flash in them, but it was too quick for me to see. My lips suddenly feel dry, so I lick them. It might give him the wrong impression, but I don't care.

He looks too familiar that it makes my head spin and my heart jump, but the second one was for a completely different reason.

This boy knows how to take my breath away, and it's one thing I'm afraid of.

For what seemed like hours later, Christina coughs, brining me back to reality. I blush at the way I gazed at the mystery boy. "Uh, hi. Is the secretary here?" He goes silent for a while, but he looks at me and smiles. Kill me if it's wrong to smile back.

"Yeah," He says, his voice low and sexy like I imagined it to be. He rakes a hand through his dark brown hair and licks his lips. "She'll be here in a few."

"Okay." I move toward one of the metal chairs near the desk and he moves to the door. Our arms brush at some point and it sends an electric current down my spine that results in a shudder. I swear there's something about him—something I should know—that I just can't put my finger on.

"Well, I'll be going then."

"Ah. Thank you…"

"Four." He chokes out, and I'm wondering why his name is a number. But somehow it suits him—It feels right.

"Four," I repeat, a smile plastered on my face. Again, an emotion flashes in those blue orbs, and I'm still not fast enough to know what it was. His lips curve to a crooked smirk as he opens the door.

"No problem, Tris." And with that, he's gone, leaving me wide-eyed and silent as his words sink in. _Tris. He called me Tris. _

I gaped at the door. He knows my name, and I never told him. And he sounds… he sounds familiar in ways that my heart can recognize, but it won't tell me.

"Tris, babe, did you see him?" Christina chirped. "Of course you did! You two looked at each other like you're having eye-sex or something! Did you see the way he looked at you? He's undressing you with his eyes, and from the way you looked at him it seems your doing it to him, too."

My cheeks colored and I stuck my tongue out. "It was just… He kind of seemed familiar, don't you think?"

Her playful smile falters. "From the Undergrounds?"

I shake my head no. "Like he's _really_ familiar. Like I know what his voice sounds like and how he would react. And he knows _my name_."

"Of course you know how sexy his voice would sound. Maybe you used to be forbidden lovers pre-accident and when you lost your memories he decided to go here and—"

"I'm from Abnegation," I reminded her. "My life is anything but romance and drama. But he really looks familiar, and he doesn't look like an Underground person. I mean, he does, but I've never seen him in the crowd before."

"Maybe you just didn't see him before, since you have so many fans and all."

"He knows my name!" I wailed. "No one knows my name except Emilio, Tori, Eric and you. They never allowed us to use our real names remember?"

She nods, realization sinking into her brain. Finally. "Maybe he's been stalking you? Or he's from your past?" Okay, okay, maybe not finally. I roll my eyes. I'm certain a guy wouldn't want to stalk me knowing my reputation. And if he was from my past, then why would I know someone who's a Dauntless? As far as I remember you can't talk to people from other factions unless you've known them before you had your Choosing Ceremony or if they're your family... And I don't have them anymore.

Before I could voice out my words, the lady-secretary enters from the other door. I sigh and try to block all my thoughts about Four and how sexy he is and how he knows my name.

Minutes later, we exit the room only to be met by the boy from the halls. He's with two girls: the one on his right holding on his bicep with a flirty smile on her lips, the other has a mischievous smirk and it looks like she shaved her hair. And behind the boy is his look-alike or brother, either way works.

"So you're new here?" He says, and I nod.

"Welcome to Dauntless Academy," The girl on his right cooed, but she's glaring at me.

"Welcome, Stiff and 6th Rank." The other girl says. So I'm guessing they and Christina shared some memories during Initiation.

"Stiff?" I ask, glancing at Christina then the bald-girl. I flinch when the guy's brother starts to speak. I forgot he was there.

"A Stiff is what we call the Abnegations, since you are one. We know you, Joker." He walks forward and raises his hand in front of me. "The name's Zeke." I take his hand and we shake.

'The girl on my right is Marlene, Uri's girl." He points to Ms. Clingy. "And the other is Lynn." He nods to the bald girl. Lynn gives a stern look and salutes before nudging Uriah.

"And the kid—" Before he could finish, he's shoved to the right by his brother. He hugs me tighter than Christina ever did, and I think I literally lost my breath.

"I'm Uriah, Zeke's younger brother. I can't believe the Joker's going to study in DA!" He exclaims, holding me tighter while bouncing like a little boy who's waiting for his ice cream. Marlene's clutching on Uriah's shirt, a growl on her beautiful face, and Lynn's trying to sniffle her laughter. Zeke moves toward Christina and they shake hands, apologizing for Uriah's behavior. Uriah moves away from me, smiling. "I will never wash this shirt. The Joker is fucking studying here. At Dauntless Academy. The Joker!"

"Shut up, Uri." Zeke puts his hand on Uriah's shoulder and smiles. "Sorry for him. He's a big fan of yours and all. So you and Christina are new here?"

"Yeah," Christina says. "We just got our schedules a while ago." Zeke asks for our schedule sheet and we show it to him. A minute later he nods and returns it to us. "The six of us have the same lunch periods. Christina, you have the same physics class with Lynn and history with me. Joker, you have the same chemistry and P.E. class with Uri and Lene." Oh great, but I don't dare show my irritation. Instead, I give him the brightest fake-smile I could put up. But something about the way he address me makes me uncomfortable. So I tell them:

"Tris," I correct him. He looks at me like I said something stupid and I tell him again. "Tris. Call me Tris." I don't know why I said it, but somehow I trust these people. Even Marlene._  
_

"Tris, then." Zeke nods. "Well we better go. I have Computer Lab. and it's almost time. Do you know where your rooms are?"

"Sure," Christina replies. "We both have HRC first. What's that, anyway?"

"You'll find out. It's an exciting class, I tell ya." Lynn says, and I realize it's the first thing she's ever said to us. The four wave us goodbye, Uriah still a little jumpy, and we part ways.

When we reach the HRC room, the bell strikes and the mutters fade into silence. We move to the two empty seats at the back, ignoring (again) the stares directed at me. "What do you think this is?" Christina whispers as we sit at the last row, but I don't dare answer her. My eyes zoom in on Four, who's sitting in front of me. _  
_

Christina notices this and nudges my ribs. I wince and a groan escapes my lips, earning Four's attention. He looks at me with a smirk on his face, and we stay like that until the teacher enters the room. When I turn to Christina she has one brow raised and her smile is from ear to ear. '_Eye-sex,_' She mouths, and I blush.

But I still couldn't fathom why this Four guy looks familiar, and how his voice and eyes seem to look into my soul.

"Welcome class," The teacher, a blond woman probably in her mid-twenties, says. "First, who can tell me what HRC is? I'm only asking this because it seems we have two new students here." She smiles at us. Four raises his hand and I, despite being behind him, could feel a smile forming from his lips.

"Human Reproduction Class," He pronounces them slowly, in a way that makes the word sound like a forbidden erotic word. The atmosphere suddenly changes, and by the way Christina uncomfortably shifts in her seat, I could tell she feels it, too. Four goes on. "Or in simple terms: Sex Education. Where we learn about the functions of the human reproductive system… and sex, obviously. Lots and lots of sex."

_Ho-ly-shit._

It seems like he's talking to me and this makes me squirm in my seat. And I couldn't figure out why the classroom is so hot, even when the air conditioning is turned to high-cool_._ Some girls start to fan themselves. One said, "A great way to start Monday for the first class." And I couldn't agree more.

The teacher blushes and motions the swooning girls and sexually encouraged guys to quiet down. I look at Christina, who is still uncomfortable in her seat, and try to tone down my laughter. Four turns to me again, brows raised, and I give him my best what-you-said-didn't-affect-me smile. He chuckles and turns to where he's supposed to be looking again. I exhale the breath I didn't realize I was holding.

This is definitely going to be a long day.

* * *

**A/n**:_ SUE ME FOR MAKING FOUR LOOK LIKE A SEXY BADASS because he'll be like that for the first few chapters. And whoa, 3k plus words! Apologies for the length, guys. The recap of Tris' first two years in Dauntless is kinda long. But the next few chapters will be shorter. I hope._

_A little uneeded info: Tris and Four are both 18 here. Tori and Eric are 22. And there is one person in the school who's a traitor; try to keep your eye on him/her in the upcomming chapters and tell me who you think it is~_

_(update) I will be posting a new Shatter Me fanfic entitled "Ignite Me" so if you liked Shatter Me then stay tuned for my fanfics! It won't have the same writing style as Mafi's, but it's beautiful in it's own way. If ever Mafi announces that the book is entitled "Ignite Me" I will switch the title to "Break Me" or "Save Me"_

_If you have any suggestions, questions or in need of someone to listen to your life's story, I'm always here, loves. _

_**DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A REVIEW, or else I won't continue this story~ (Seriously)**  
_

_**I've also posted my favorite quotes from my stories on my profile description. Most quotes won't be seen until the future chapters, but if you want a teaser of my story you can check my quotes section.**_


	3. Chapter 2: Worst Day Ever

**Chapter 2**

**Worst Day Ever**

If I told myself in more than a hundred occasions that "Today's the worst day ever.", then I was wrong.

In every class I had up until lunch (HRC, Chemistry, Geography and History), Four was always there. I'm not even sure if he's supposed to be in those classes. What were the chances of the both of us having the same schedules.

For the past three subjects Four would always decide to sit beside me or the table in front of me. And every time a girl tries to flirt with him he waves them off with disinterest, which, truthfully, makes me a little happy. But the thing that makes me uncomfortable was that he would rather stare at me than at the board and "accidentally" place his hand on my knee or "accidentally" brush his hand on mine. It was cute, in an incredibly annoying way.

When the bell rings—_yay, it's lunch time_—I gather my things and get up, but Four catches my wrist. I give him a stern what-is-it look. _Alas! He decides to speak!_

"Tris," His voice sounded distressed as he whispered my name. "What the hell are you doing here?"

My rage starts to build at the way he talked to me. "Excuse me? Who are you to ask why I'm here? I'm here because I want to. And how do you know my name?"

He goes silent for a while. "Just… Be careful, okay? I don't want you to get hurt."

"How do you know my name?" I repeat. "And why should I be careful?"

"I just do!" He snaps, then his face softens for a minute. "It's dangerous here."

"Ha!" I snort. "I know it's dangerous here, and the only thing I should be careful of is you." He seems to stiffen at my remark, and I think I took it too far.

"Uh, sorry Four. I just—"

"No, it's okay. I know what you mean." He squeezes my wrist and instinctively lets go. Four stands up, making me feel conscious of my height compared to his, and leans closer to my ear. Whispers, "Be careful, Tris. I care about you."

_I care about you, Tris. I—_

My head spins in confusion as he strides out of the room, and I realize that he didn't bring books with him since first period. The words he spoke to me sound familiar, but maybe I'm just delusional about it. So I exit the room, my thoughts of Four and his words floating in my brain.

"Trisss!" Christina hollers as I open my locker. I turn to her and smile. "How's your day?"

She starts jumping and fanning herself. "It. Was. _Awesome_! Okay, okay. Remember Will? The one I talked to you about?" _Who couldn't? You talk about him every day._

"Well he's here! He's in this school, and he's my Biology partner!" And this is one of those times when she needs me to be a girl, so I jump and squeal with her.

Hey, it's what best friends do: when one of you is doing something stupid or embarrassing enough to catch the attention of some people, join them. "Really? Congrats, Christie! Does he still remember you?"

"Yess! He says he hasn't forgotten about me at all. So how was your day?"

I groan and place my books inside the locker, noting that I need to fix the inside of my locker…someday. "Tiring. Four was literally everywhere!" She gave me a confused look, so I start explaining to her about how he's in every class and when he told me to be careful.

"Hmm. Maybe he was some international spy and there are people out there to kill you so he's trying to protect you while hiding his love for you—"

"You should stop reading those kinds of books. It's bad for your normalcy." I tell her, and she sticks her tongue out. "But seriously, I do think he's from my past and there's something he's not telling me…or doesn't want me to know." Christina opens her mouth but I continue, "And no, he's not a spy, I'm not a princess."

While changing the subject every minute, we made our way to the cafeteria. Christina opened the doors and… wow.

It looked similar to the food courts at Dauntless Mall. Metal tables, metal chairs, the Dauntless logo painted on the floor and a Dauntless flag hanging on the ceiling. Except for one thing: most tables have their own food fight. Both literally and figuratively.

We scanned the room for an empty table when someone called my name. Or my stage name.

"Joker!"

And then everyone stopped, looked at Uriah—the one who yelled my name—then turned toward the doors, where Christina and I stood. Hundreds of eyes were staring at me, and it wasn't the mean kind. They were surprised, actually, but none of them moved. I gulped and nudged Christina in the ribs that said, _Help._

Christina shrugged and shook her head no. Then she held my wrist and pulled me to where Uriah and his group were. We walked fast in a way that we're almost running, yet it felt like time slowed since people were eyeing my every move. I shivered.

I sat across Uriah and Christina sat beside a blonde boy who I suppose is Will and another whose name I do not know. Uriah introduces us to Al and Shauna, but not to the kid beside me. Al was the kind of guy who's scary in a way because he's big, but I can tell he was a timid and quiet person. Shauna, well, she seemed normal, though her glare was anything but friendly. We sat there in awkward silence until Zeke said, "How was your day?"

"Well," Christina whispered, still noticing that people were looking at us—at me. "It was really boring and something…" Her words started to blur in my ears when I spotted a certain boy sitting at the table farthest from ours. And he was looking at me

It was like everything that was once vivid has faded into oblivion, everything was invisible or gone, and the only thing I could see is him. He's looking at me like he's seeing through my soul, again. Like he's trying to tell me something and I just can't understand what it is. Like he wants something—_anything—_to reassure him of whatever it is he's thinking. I don't get it and I don't know why this boy is trying to reach out to me and why is this boy so hot—

Then his expression changes.

He looks pissed, furious. Those sparkling blue eyes turned to cloudy ones. The desperation in his frown disappears into a thin line. And I could see his lips, mouthing something that I'm sure was a curse.

Then I realize where he's looking at, and I turn to my right.

The guy beside me is looking at me with a lost expression on his face. His dark hair is swept to the side and he's wearing black glasses. His brows are furrowed and he's gritting his teeth, the empty can in his hand crumpling in his clenched fist. When he realizes I'm looking at him, his expression softens and he smiles. "So, you're new here?"

"Yeah, I'm Tris." I return his smile, holding out my hand for his to shake. He takes my hand then his eyes snap to where Four was. When I look in the same direction, Four's gone and my chest starts to breathe in a normal rhythm. "I'm Blake." I turn back to him. "Blake Matthews."

"Hi, Blake."

"So what's a girl like you doing here in Dauntless?" I froze at his words, but he pats my shoulder and chuckles. I release my breath and smile at him. "Well, I thought everyone knew."

"Sorry, but I don't. I just moved here a year and a half ago and all I know about is that you had an... accident... and how you fight at the Dauntless Undergrounds?" He seems to say it like it's a question, so I nod. "Uriah talks about you everyday. That boy probably has posters of you in his room."

"I'm hoping he doesn't."

"I'm hoping, too." He picks up his tray and stands up. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Tris, but I have some things to do and people to meet. I'll be seeing you pretty soon. Bye. " And with that, he's gone. I know I shouldn't be curious with other people's lives, but there's something about Blake that doesn't seem right in ways I could not explain. My eyes follow him as he walks to the doors. His shoulders are broad and stiff and the way he walks spoke that of confidence, but it's hard to say why. Before I could take in more of his details he gets swallowed by the sea of people walking through the doors.

"Tris?"

"Huh?" I turn to Uriah. Then to Christina, whose face gives no emotion. I've never seen her like this before.

"Christina said that you met Four in the Head Office a while ago?" I nodded. Something like anger or frustration flashed in Uriah's eyes as he said, "Don't go near him. He has a reputation for being handsome and all, but he's a mystery. No one knows where he came from and why he transferred here a couple of years ago. Even Zeke, who is the closest to a friend that boy has, doesn't know anything about him and his life. Just be careful, okay?" I turned to Zeke, who gave me a meaningful look that said Uriah's words were true. I nodded. Everyone grew silent for a couple of seconds until I popped the question.

"So, two years ago during your initiations, how were your rankings?" I remember Christina telling me that she was ranked 6th and that they only allowed the top ten ranks in Dauntless—the rest become factionless.

"Well," Uriah started. "I was second, Lynn was third, Lene was fourth, Will was fifth and Al was seventh. You probably know hers already." He gestured to Christina. At the mention of her, her expression grew back to normal and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"What about the others?" I questioned, looking at Zeke and Shauna.

"They had theirs a year before us since they're older by a year. Four was also one of the initiates that time—he ranked first, obviously." My eyes grew wide at the mention of Four. Four ranked first? But I thought he was named Four because of his rank.

"And the first? In your group, I mean."

Uriah shrugs. "Blake was the first. I swear that guy looked nerdy, but he was tough like shit. Add the fact that he's as mysterious as Four. I'm guessing they know each other somehow."

We decided to switch to other topics of conversation until Zeke told us that we have ten minutes left until the next class.

"Hey, Tris, Christina," We both turned to Zeke. "I'm going to have a party at my house later. You guys going?"

I wasn't the party type of girl, but Christina was. She dragged me everywhere despite my protests because "friends don't leave friends behind", even if she actually leaves me alone the moment she spies a dance floor. And when she said those words, I believe it was because she needed someone to bring her home and pull her hair up while she vomited. We are _so_ the best of friends.

Christina turned to me; her hands clasped together, her lips in a pout and her eyes glistening. "Please? It's our first party here! Remember that friends don't leave friends behind."

I raise both my hands out in front of her. "Hey, hey, I'm not saying anything. Sure, we can go. I guess."

She jumps and holds me tight, all while screaming on my ear. My eyes zoom in on the guy standing at the far side of the cafeteria, looking at me. His back against the wall, arms crossed and he's grinning at me. I quirk my brow up at Four, who chuckles and walks away. Whether what Uriah is saying was true or not, that boy really is a mystery.

When I walk back to my locker, I notice a piece of paper taped to one of my books. After unfolding it, my eyes grew wide at the letters written on the piece:

_**Don't go near Four if you know what's best for you. **_

The handwriting was foreign to my eyes, but I could tell it wasn't here before I went to lunch.

What was so mysterious about Four—and possibly Blake—that I should be careful about?

I close my locker and walk to my next class, the note crumpled inside my clenched fist. My first day ended with a conflicted mind, a group of weird people and a mysteriously handsome boy who seems to know something I don't.

But I never knew that this was also the last day I'll ever be normal again.

* * *

**A/n: Hey, hey! I'm back with another chapter. **

**So... who could guess what happens next? There'll be a party at Zeke's and you're invited! And (probably) Four will be there, too! He's going to be hotter than the past two chapters~ **

**The title is, obviously: Party At Zeke's... It's just not what you're going to expect. **

**So here's the thing if you're keeping up with my story:_ everyone is a potential killer_. Joke. There are parts in the stories that are _extremely _important. Christina and Four are important, obviously. Uriah's going to hang on for a while and... try to keep your attention to something you definitely won't be expecting in Dauntless Academy~**

**Don't forget to review/follow/favorite me (or else I won't continue writing)**

**And here's Tris's schedule for tomorrow (which is in her world, Tuesday): Literature, Dauntless History, Calculus (why do they even have that), LUNCH, Computer Science, Physical Education. Again, why do they even have that. P.E. WILL BE SO FUN IN DAUNTLESS THE WAY I IMAGINE IT~**


	4. Chapter 3: The Girl Who Died From Love

**Chapter 3**

**The Girl Who Died From Love**

It was already past ten when we arrived at Zeke(and Uriah)'s house. He told Christina that it's best to start the party this late because the night looks "awesomer" after nine-thirty, which makes it a good scenery for the party. And he was actually right. The house was practically glowing under the moon when we arrived.

More than fifty people were already there—and I'm sure there are still more coming. Some people were already half-drunk. This guy, Jake, was even sleeping on the stairs, a party hat placed on his face and his shirt stained with so much beer that it looked like he urinated on himself.

When I turned to look for Four, and found him nowhere in sight, I felt a little depressed. Christina disappeared into the crowd of people on the dance floor, so I sat on one of the chairs inside the kitchen which was the only empty room in the house. Uriah appeared through the back door minutes later, an empty bowl on one hand and a liter of root beer on the other. When he sees me watching him, he places what he's holding on the kitchen table and sits beside me.

"Having fun?" He says, and I could hear the excitement he's trying to hide under that calm act of his. I roll my eyes. "Yeah. I'm not a party person, though. I prefer a different kind of noisy crowd, get me?" With that, his eyes light up, knowing that he can talk to me about the Joker.

"Can I ask you something?" He beams. I gesture for him to continue. "Well, why did you want to fight? I mean, with everything that's happened to you and all, why join the Undergrounds?"

The thought never actually came to me, and Uriah notices this too, but I tell him what I feel I do know. "I guess…I don't know, it was an escape to everything. From the past, the pain, the curiosity. Like everything around me just disappears into space whenever I fightt. I guess I'm trying to run away from it all."

"Do you know why you're running away?" He asks, more serious now. I could tell he's worried for me. I shake my head no.

"It wasn't actually something I thought of. I guess, despite the tough-girl front, I'm fragile on the inside." The truth was that I really didn't know. I don't know why I'm running away and what I'm running away from. I really am scared of my past because I get the feeling that once I found out what happened, my life won't be the same again.

Uriah and I continued our conversation until a senior called on him from the other room. We exchanged numbers and I'm glad that Uriah's the kind of person you could trust. I can tell from the aura he emits.

"Well, I'll see you soon, Tris." He smiled before leaving the room. I checked my watch—it's already eleven-forty-eight—and decided it's time for me to go.

Finding Christina was the hard part. She's somehow everywhere and nowhere at the same time that sometimes I just ditch her and visit her place the next day. I'm a horrible friend, I know, but she ditches me when I have an overtime for my fights, so it's equal.

Luckily, I spot her in less than a minute on the dance floor. Despite the loud electro sounds booming from the speaker, she's slow dancing. Her arms are around some guy, her head rested on his shoulder and she's smiling—really, _smiling_. Christie smiles all the time, but I know it's just a mask. After all, who knows best about hiding their emotions other than the Joker?

Her contented sigh was all I needed to tell me that I should just leave her here.

The guy she's dancing with notices me, and now I realize that it's Will. He gives an apologetic smile, but I just shrug in reply and mouth "take care of her". He mouths back the words "I will" before they're swallowed by the crowd.

After I say my goodbyes to Uriah and Zeke, something stops me on my way to the door. The back of my neck starts to feel warm and my whole body feels as if it's being hit with an electric current, making the hairs on my arms stand up. I feel like I'm being watched but I don't know who it is. I take a quick glance of the whole house, but see no one looking at me. _Maybe it's just the adrenaline from the party. Or the alcohol. This'll probably wear off tomorrow. _

Once I'm out of the neighborhood and in the next one, what I've felt a while ago grows stronger and now I know that there _is_ someone following me. The streets are too dark, most corners only dimly lit by the street posts' spotlight, so I couldn't see who or what is following me. But I could see a vehicle. A black one, specifically; one that blends perfectly with the darkness. I don't know who they are, but I do know they're following me so I quicken my pace.

But the faster I walk, the faster the car moves as well. My heart starts beating erratically and I only realize now that I'm sprinting. I don't know where I'm going, but I don't care. I keep running, I don't look back.

Seconds later I feel something grip my arms. I try to scream and struggle but the person's mouth is covering mine. His or her grip on my is tight enough that it only terrifies me. I've never felt this terrified since... since I realized that I lost everything. But I take my chances and continue struggling.

_"Tris._"

The way he whispers my name calms me, so I stop struggling. Surprise masks my face when I notice who it is.

"Four?" He lets go of me and I see that it really is him. Despite being shrouded in darkness, I could see that he's wearing black from top to bottom. His hair is disheveled, like he just got out of bed, and the tiniest amount of light from the moon makes him look so angelic, so sexy... But I'm more worried of what he's doing here.

I take my time for my breathing to turn normal before I ask, "What _the hell _was that?"

Four looks at me cautiously, nervously, and scans me from head to toe. He licks his lips mischievously and the hungry expression in his eyes makes me feel weird. The moment fades quickly though and he takes me by the wrist, pulling me to the opposite of where I came from. "Not here. We need to talk in private." I notice that he's whispering, which only makes me more curious.

"Why? What was that? Why was it following me?"

He sighs. "I can't tell you. Just—follow me."

I stop my tracks and give him an annoyed look. "Why not, Four?" I snap. He winces a little, and he looks as if he remembered something.

"I'll tell you what I can, Tris. Just follow me. _Please_." The desperation in his voice is clear. Something about the way he's begging makes my heart jump, leaves me speechless. I nod, despite being unseen, and follow him. Seconds later I notice a black motorcycle parked under a street post.

"Come with me." He moves to the motorcycle and sits on it, placing his keys on the engine. _But that's a death trap! _I want to tell him. Truth is, I've never ridden a motorcycle before, and I honestly don't want to. I say nothing, though, just follow him to the black death trap. And now, seeing him clearly under the light, he looks so beautifully deceiving. I feel deceived, but I don't care.

When he notices me about to sit behind him, he scoots backward, leaving some space on the front. "Sit here," He says, more of a command than a statement. I could feel my cheeks heat as I do as he says. Four gives me a helmet to put on, his only helmet I realize, so I ask him why I need to wear it. "Trust me," He says. "I'd rather die than not protect you."

I want to ask him why. I want to ask him everything: how he knows my name, how he knew I was there, why he saved me, who were those people. But the way he's serious about his words makes me forget of all my worries. Somehow, someway, I trust him with my life.

"Okay." I say finally before we're already off. He leans down, like he wants to kiss me, but thinks otherwise and gives a reassuring smile instead. I'm suddenly disappointed, but I let it go.

I let everything I'm thinking about—my past, my family, the note, the car—as I let myself focus on the mysterious boy who's willing to risk his life for me.

Half a minute later we stop in front of what seems to be a house in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't remember how we got here, but I do remember that we drove through a rugged path, so it's probably hidden on purpose. We get off the death trap and walk toward the house. Four takes out the key from one of his pockets and opens the door.

The place seems bigger than it looks. Spacious, really. There's a couch, a TV, some picture frames. It's a living room I realize, and that there are two doors and a small kitchen on the other side. The walls are painted in clean white, same as the roof. This is an extremely clean place for a boy who probably lives alone.

"Welcome to my house," Four says casually. "Feel free to do anything."

I nod and walk toward the leather couch. "Thanks."

"Do you want anything?"

"Just water. Or orange juice, if you have any."

Four nods in return and disappears into the kitchen. My eyes wander around every inch of the room until I tell myself to stop. Honestly, I'm quite nervous about being here in a boy's house... Add the fact that it's Four's house.

A sudden flash of light catches my attention. I walk toward the picture frames hanging on the left corner of the room and as I look at them I notice that most of them are pictures of Four alone. There's one or two with who I'm guessing are his parents, but all of them seem..._old_. He still looks like a twelve-year-old in them, and then I'm wondering why doesn't he have any current pictures. Surely his parents are still alive? His father seems awfully familiar, but I can't put my finger on it.

Then, in the middle of all the pictures is a medium sized portrait. By the way that the frames used here are colored gold I could tell this is something important to him. All of the photos include a girl probably his age. On the corners are small ones when they were probably three years old growing up. And in the middle is the biggest picture of the two of them in their young teens. The girl's hugging Four by the waist while he's got his left arm around her, both of them having huge cheeky grins. Written on the lower right portion of the picture is:

_TE+BP forever_

I don't know who TE and BP are, but I'm guessing that one of these initials belong to Four. The girl seems all too familiar to me, though. In the picture she's wearing a normal attire, jeans and a fitted shirt, and her long hair tied to a pony tail. Everything about the girl seems familiar: the gleam in her eyes, the innocence in her smile... Everything.

"Who is she?"

I hear Four inhale deeply behind me, as if he thought that I knew he was there. Truth is I didn't; I just _felt _him behind me.

"She's my... best friend." He chokes, his voice hoarse and strained. I don't turn to him but continue,

"What's her name?" I look over my shoulder and he stiffens. I do not know whether it's because my eyes show no emotion or I asked him the name of the girl.

"...Bea."

"Where is she now?"

He takes slow and heavy steps forward, his shoes squeaking against the wooden floors. Then he is really behind me, his body only inches away from mine.

"She's dead." He says softly. His hands slowly move to my waist, pulling me into his arms. Then he bows his head, resting it on my shoulder. My heart's pace starts to quicken, but I do not move away-I do not pull up my walls. Instead, I look at the girl's eyes; I can see clearly that she is hiding something, and yet, I am wondering how she has done this. Hidden her emotions. I have learned to hide mine yet this girl's is better-you _can't _see it unless you look closely.

"How did she die?" I ask.

"Love," Four mutters against my skin, causing me to shiver. "She died from love. She's still alive, but this girl in front of you is already dead—died from love."

My hands manage to find his despite the atmosphere surrounding us. He entiwnes his fingers with mine and I wonder why our fingers fit so perfectly.

"She is just like me then." He nods in reply before he releases me and moves back. I hear clinking of glasses behind me as I simply stand there, staring at nothing, shivering from the coldness that has replaced the warmth of Four's touch. Seconds later I find myself sitting on the couch beside him; I didn't even know how I got here.

He hands me a glass of orange juice and stares at the other one that silently sits on the table in front of us. "So," He says flatly. "What do you want to know?"

"What was after me and why, why you helped me, why you were there in a dark neighborhood at midnight, why you don't want to talk about it-oh, you know, the normal stuff."

He rolls his eyes. "I really couldn't tell you anything about who they are or why they want you; I don't know who they are myself and I had to help you because who wouldn't save their fellow classmate from being murdered, raped or kid—"

I firmly lay my glass on the table and turn myself so I can face him. "Okay, okay. I get it. So _why_ were you there?"

He gives me a lazy-but-sexy smile that I know for sure can make every girl drop their panties—well, everyone except mine. "Well why were you there anyway, Tris?" _Oh he is not going to turn things around. He's definitely hiding something. "_Walking home from a party." My eyes widen. "Wait, were you there?" He nods his head slightly.

"So you stalked me?!" I may look enraged as damn but my inner girl is blushing. _He followed you, _she chirps. _He followed you!_

"Not actually," He admits. "I just wanted to make sure you got home safe."

"By stalking me?" I spat, and he places his hand on his left chest, feigning hurt. "I didn't stalk you. I just wanted you to make safe... Until they came along."

"Why would you even want me safe? I only met you today!"

He inches closer and reaches his hand out, his fingers placed underneath my chin. He tips my head up so I can see his eyes. "Because I want to." His voice is so low and husky that it makes my head spin. "Because I'd rather die than let them hurt you. You know I do, Tris." Then he leans closer, so close, that I know he's going to kiss me. I want to close my eyes and savor the moment, to taste him and feel his lips on mine, but no. I don't do any of those—

I shove him away.

I'll regret it later on but there's something much more important than that. And when I see the look on his face—the defeat, the look that says he failed to change the subject—only ignites the anger inside of me.

Right now he can't even look me in the eye. Right now I know that what I'm thinking _is _true.

It isn't after I left his house in a hurry that I realized that everything was just too confusing. That it must be a joke, all of it just a simple joke. He'll come running after me and tell me that he really doesn't know.

But...

But he never came. He never came because the harsh words I said glued him on that couch. I made him think of how much I am so angered and hurt right now that he could not even stand up. I made him repeat the words I said over and over again in his head.

"...You know who I am." I said.

"You know who I am and you didn't save me."

Then the hurt quickly turns to anger.

_"I hate you."_

* * *

**_A/n_**_ Someone please give me some tips on how to write fanfics at a better time. I swear I'm so goddy sleepy that I had to use a spelling/grammar-checker for this... I just... I cannot...Why?! _

_As a writer, I sincerely apologize for not updating for God-knows-how-long. But I am here, and I am back, and I will not meet the hot guy who flirts with me anymore after Monday next week. I can continue writing then! _

_As a reader, I am somehow disappointed with how short and too quick-paced the storyline in this chapter is. It wasn't my real intention, but in that span of three hours I felt all dark and emotionless that I just could not NOT write it. _

_So here's where Tris finds out that Four knows who she really is! :D _

_Next chapter will be set three weeks after the whole event if I ever forget to write that down next time. I'll be posting the 4th chapter probably next week or someday before June. I'll be at Singapore from June 2-4 which means that I might be busy having fun there. (I may not have a love life but my life is just so funnnn! The less fucks you give the happier you are, I realize) _

_So... I wrote a new Shatter Me fanfic which is currently entitled "Boardroom Table" for various reasons. I'll be changing it to "Revive Me" or "After Unravel Me", whichever fits my mood. All I'm saying is that I want you guys to read it, even if you have not read the actual book, and give me some criticism! I appreciate them~ _

_Oh and for those of you talented writers who are reviewing my fanfics and reading this, it would also be nice if you give me a proper criticism on my fanfic. I really need to know where I need to improve. _

_AGAIN, I AM ONLY THIRTEEN SO PLEASE DON'T KILL ME IF I MAKE A MISTAKE. I AM AN EXTREMELY CIVILIZED, MATURE THIRTEEN YEAR OLD. I'M BRAVER THAN BRAVE. I GOT A BLOOD TEST A WHILE AGO AND I DIDN'T CRY. I'M JUST THAT BRAVE, YO._

**_Don't forget to follow/favorite/review me if you want more updates! You can also ask some good criticism from me... or if you just need a friend of ...then PM my inbox~ Oh, and if you have any questions concerning the characters or you're just plain confused about the plot, you can also ask me. I don't bite :)_**

**_KSPotato/the-warner-syndrome (-my tumblr name) _**


	5. Chapter 4: She'll Never Forgive You

**Chapter 4**

"**She'll Never Forgive You" **

Three weeks have passed since I last ran away from Four's house. Three weeks since I found out he knew me—the real me—and said nothing, did nothing...

The second thought that came to my mind was that maybe he really didn't know me close enough to save me. Or maybe he hates me. Maybe he wants revenge.

But the first thing that came to my mind was how I was going to return home, since I wasn't paying attention to which streets we passed through and how we got there, into his isolated house. I had to stop for a second before I continued walking. And Four still didn't come back for me.

Surprisingly, his house was just hidden in the forests surrounding the Pit; an extremely dangerous waterfall. They say that those who get unlucky and fall into the Pit are never found again. And it only makes things more dangerous because, after all, we are Dauntless—and revenge is one of the few things we're good at.

I just don't know if my real blood—my Abnegation blood—does the same thing. Maybe Four knows, but I don't think that's a good idea.

I never initiated talk with Four and he never dared to approach me. In classes where he and I were both in, I did my best to avoid him. The second the bell rings I'm gone like smoke and when another class starts, I would sit at the farthest row. I even started to sit in between Edward and Peter, the two most flirtatious guys at school. They may be complete flirts but at least they don't know who I am and that I can kick their asses if they ever do something to drain my patience. Lucky for them I don't lose my temper easily, unlike Christina.

Speaking of Christina, she's been talking about the party—and how Will held her so close and how everything was just so perfect she could hear angels singing—everyday. "You were drunk," Uriah told her with a hearty laugh. "Not high. And if I were you and I heard angels singing I would've shit myself."

There was also something about Uriah and Christina that seemed as if they knew each other long before they got here. Maybe it's the friendly atmosphere he emits, but I doubt it. I remember Christina telling me that she was Candor before, and Uriah was a Dauntless "in-born" as they call it. Tori told me before that it was impossible for people in other factions to communicate unless it was business related. I told her that it seemed like we were at war with each faction and she said "But it's sort of true. We aren't at war, but it's more of like we've been divided to who our personalities and traits are. And that's what makes each faction seem to hate each other, like how we Dauntless people despise Erudite for their intelligence. I myself believed that they might actually rule over every faction one day."

But, seeing as how Erudite _did_ make things like serums and simulation rooms for us, I wouldn't be surprised.

"Tris, what are you doing..." Christina trails off as she sees me stalking toward the HRC room in a hurry. I wonder if it took her this long to get over the fact that she danced with Will and see me being a complete idiot of myself; I've been doing this for three weeks!

"Nothing," I tell her as I sit myself at the furthest row. It's the only place where Four won't see me—since he sits just in front.

Christie sighs and positions herself beside me. "I'm really curious with what's been happening with you, babe." Oh, so she did know that I was being a fool of myself for the past three weeks. "I can see it with the way you're acting that it has something to do with Four."

I stay silent, knowing that with Christina, there's no way I could lie to her. "And it's not only because of your actions, but also with his. I see how he looks at you from afar, Tris. Now tell me what happened between you two." She pauses, then gasps. "You're not...are you..."

"No!" I cried, flushed, then lowered my voice since I started to be gaining attention. "Nothing happened, Christina. Maybe he did something stupid like God-knows-what, or finally saw me on TV and got scared of talking to me again." Or maybe I ran away from him because I found out that he knew about me and my past.

That scenario has been playing over and over again in my head that it took some of my sleep sometimes. Often I would try to imagine what it would be like if he hadn't brought me to the house, or if I had let the mysterious car follow me.

This kind of thing isn't something I wanted to happen, especially on my first day of school.

Christina said nothing afterward, but I knew that she was worried about me.

Class started a few minutes later. I tried to listen to the current topic, but I just couldn't pry my eyes away from the entrance door. I waited for something, or someone, to come from that door. But it never came; Four was absent.

**~oOo~**

Everything went by in a blur until it was already lunch. I sat in-between Uriah and Blake while Christina, taking her chances, sat beside Will. Everyone's here except for Lynn and Marlene. I remembered asking Uriah about Lynn and Marlene, if the three of them had any connection. "No," He said with a smile. "I feel like there is something going on between the two of them, but nothing's between me and Lene, if you're asking. She's just over-protective of me."

"Why?"

The smile was there, but the emotion in his eyes were now impassive. I can see that something must've happened in his past, too. But he answers, "I lost someone really important to me. Loved her, more than myself really. And she loved me, but not in the way I hoped for it. She was in love with someone else, but that someone else was someone she wasn't supposed to fall for, you know? I told her I could love her more than he did, remove all the pain—even if it was just a fragment."

I wanted to ask him what happened next, why she died, or if he still loves her. But that moment he chose to hold my hand and look at me in the eye. There was a familiar expression in him that just made me want to mourn for him—the way his eyes showed that he still loves that girl. "You'd like her, you know." He says, his eyes gleaming. "She's tough, inside and out. Just like you."

But that's where he's wrong.

Uriah puts his arms around me and pulls me into a side-hug. He's been doing this for days now, after he told me about his girl and, after that, he told me that we should hang out more. There's something comforting about the way he holds me that I just couldn't push him away. When I turn to Christina, there's a huge smile on her face.

"So," Will starts. "Have you heard about what Al saw yesterday?"

Everyone but Will turns to Al, who's seated across me. He looks down nervously and glances at everyone in the table. Clears his throat. "I, uh, saw Four last night. When I was on my way home."

"And...?" Christina encouraged.

"And...well, he wasn't supposed to be there. It was a few blocks from their" —he gestures toward Uriah— "place. The dark, abandoned neighborhood. I didn't actually see him since he until I turned on my car's headlights. He was wearing all-black and talking to someone whose face I didn't see since that person, but I knew he was talking with someone." He looked up, searched the room—probably for Four—then continued.

"But it wasn't who he was talking to that scared me, it was what he was holding... He had a gun—no, two guns in his hands." Al stopped at that and said nothing more. He probably went away after seeing that.

But Four? Holding a gun? I know he was dark and mysterious, but he wouldn't be the type of guy who actually killed people. And guns weren't allowed for people who don't have any reason for having one.

Everyone in the table stays silent until we hear something crumple harshly. My head turns to where the sound came from—Blake and Uriah. Both of their Coca Cola cans have been smashed by their hands. When the two notice the mess on the table that's snaking toward them, they jump out off their seats, Uriah muttering a choice of four-lettered words. I decided to get away from the mess too, fearing that the coke would spill on my jeans.

You can see the anger in Uriah's face, his tightened jaw and his hand still holding the can, but I don't know if the anger came from what he heard. Blake doesn't show any emotion at all, but he's frowning and shaking his head in—disapproval?

The two men exchange a quick glance at each other and nod. Blake takes both of their cans and his bag, musters a quick goodbye, and exits the cafeteria. I know it's just a fraction of a second, but I'm sure that Blake was looking at me as he walked away.

Everyone in the cafeteria, I realize, is now silent. Their heads are turning to where we're standing and the doors that I'm sure enough that if they don't stop they'll have a head ache. I could hear people whispering things like "Four" and "Blake" and "accident" but I can't catch up.

"Tris," Uriah calls, snapping me from confusion. I turn around to face him, then to the group. Everyone excluding Christina seems to know, because they're all looking everywhere except my direction. I raise a brow at Christie and she shrugs, shaking her head. "I don't know" is what she's saying.

Someone holds me by the wrist—Uriah—and gently but firmly tugs, motioning me to follow him. I spare the group one last glance before following Uri through the doors and to the empty Cooking Room, which greets me with the delicious aroma of random herbs and spices with a hint of burnt food—okay, it's not just a hint. We're Dauntless, not contestants of Masterchef.

Uriah starts pacing and mumbling things I can barely hear as I take out a wooden stool from under the kitchen tables and sit down. "What is it, Uri? I'm hungry and I haven't eaten lunch yet." The lightness in my tone calms him down and he chuckles in response. He walks toward one of the cabinets and takes out a bowl, a fork and a spatchula before getting two eggs by the counter. Then he dashes toward the main stove, pulling out one of the pans hanging above.

"You can cook?" I ask, amused and surprised. He nods, cracking the eggs. "I prefer cooking than eating canned stuff—something I had to learn as a kid. And seriously? The food here is just... I don't even know if it's actually food. Don't tell Agatha, though." He mock whispers before breaking into hysterics. I crack up a second later and join him (_don't judge me, I like making hideously corny puns_), and by the time he's sobered up I could see the anger leaving him like smoke.

Seconds pass between us and forty-seven seconds later (I counted by the sound of ticking on the kitchen clock) Uriah starts to talk.

"Remember when I told you about not getting too close with Four?"

I cross my arms and nod. "Not in the same context, but yeah." The first day of school isn't something I could forget.

"Well, there's more to that." He pauses, and I urge him to continue by raising a brow. "A couple years ago, when Blake joined Dauntless, there was an accident that happened to him. His sister, our age, was supposed to join him that day. Truth was he wanted to be Erudite and his sister, he said, wanted to remain in her faction."

"Which faction were they in?" I thought Blake was an in-born.

Uri shakes his head. "Never told any of us. Remember how our clothes define our faction—yeah, it does—Abnegation with gray, Dauntless with black, Amity with red and yellow and all that. But Blake? He was wearing a mixture of them all. Unless he was factionless there were no other factions that wore so many colors." But factionless are people who were kicked out from their factions, so it's impossible for Blake to get in…

"Didn't the school find it suspicious?"

He shook his head the second time and turned off the stove. "They didn't say anything; he was accepted just like that." He snapped his fingers. "Even the Dauntless leaders aren't saying anything about it."

"What about his sister? And the accident?"

The moment his eyes meet mine, I see something like hesitation flicker in them. "He doesn't speak much about her, except that she's our age and they were supposed to have their Choosing a few hours before they got into an accident and she…"

Died. That's what he was supposed to say. But something tells me that the story's incomplete. That he hasn't mentioned anything about Four and his relation to Blake. Apparently, Uriah knew what I was thinking and went on.

"Now here's where Four comes into the story. So Four was already in a year before us, yeah? This year he was supposed to have graduated; he was immediately assigned as a Dauntless leader. Wanna know why?" I nodded.

"In his fear simulation—you know that right?—he scored the highest, with only four fears."

Four fears. Now I understand how he chose to have that name. But four fears were impossible. Christina told me that the lowest number in her time was twelve, more or less.

"But how—"

He slowly takes out the cooked egg with the spatchula and transfers it to the clean plate prepared on the stove table. Then, picking the plate up, he walks over and sits across me. He offers me the fork and I take it.

"Four refused the offer." He pauses, looks at my gaping expression. "But that wasn't it, Tris… He shot Blake."

The moment those words come out of his mouth, everything goes silent. Even the clock itself. Then, with a loud _clink!_ hitting the floor, I realized that my fork had slipped from my fingers. I want to pick them up, but I couldn't—I was frozen in the moment, staring at Uriah. _He's joking_, I want to tell myself. But I couldn't; I don't know Four that much to defend him.

"It was on that very same street Al mentioned. That was where he shot Blake… It was supposed to hit him in the chest," He points to where his heart is. "but something he said caught Four off guard, and mistakenly shot his arm."

"What did he say?" I asked, because right now I'm too paralyzed to even analyze everything. How did this happen? Why did Four do this? What did Blake do? It doesn't make any sense.

" '_She'll never forgive you._' "

He says it with a slight temble in his voice, like these words mean something to him, too.

It takes us less than five minutes to finish what we ate and clean everything up, but that five minutes took longer with the silence between us. I just didn't know what to say.

I was almost near the doors until Uriah called me. I stopped mid-step and faced him. He was standing no less than a few feet behind me.

"What?"

Then, in less than a second, his left hand is clutching the door-handle and his other is lightly rested on my waist. His face is so close to mine that I could feel the warmth of his breath on my ear. My body shivers.

"Don't go near him if you know what's best for you."

Unfortunately, I don't.

* * *

**A/n **_Okay guys... _

_So the plot was supposed to be different, a little more exciting_

_but then I got very emotional_

_And this happened_

_So that plot will now be chapter 5 _

_This chapter is a little boring,but please bear with me :) I hope you guys are enjoying this. Don't forget to leave a review :)_

_Btw, I changed something here. Tell me if you find out what it is :P (Updated 6/13) _


	6. Chapter 5: Ry

**Chapter 5**

**"Ry" **

"He asked you out?"

Christina nodded and bit her lip, but she knew it was impossible—she's been smiling for hours now and simply biting her lip won't work, especially if it's Christina. Soon enough, she caves in and her mouth breaks into a teeth-filled smile that I want to shield my eyes.

"Yeah. He asked me last night but I was only able to answer him now." I raise an inquisitive brow at the statement and she hits me lightly on the arm as color rises on her cheeks. "He texted me, I mean."

"And you only told me now?" I leaned my back to the cold metal locker beside Christina's. She opens her locker (23-09-12-12 : WILL. I tried breaking open her locker a week ago when she was absent. It took me only the first try to get it right.) and exchanges her Dauntless History book with her Chemistry one.

The good thing is that we only have one subject left until I can finally get out of this place, but sadly _my_ last period is Physical Eduction. Don't get me wrong—I love exercising and knife throwing and insulting the others when they don't hit the target—but my mind is too far off to even think about one of my few favorite subjects; it's too busy thinking about the complicated story that is Four and Blake.

I've been trying to put two and two together with what Uriah told me during lunch. He told me that Blake had a sister who died, that no one knew who he was and where he came from. No one except Four, who somehow knew about Blake's sister. If my hunch is correct, then Four, Blake and his sister must have been in the same faction before. But what happened in their former faction that made Four hate Blake so much as to almost kill him? He knew Blake, but also his sister. Which means something.

I try to rake through more information my brain has stored for me, but I am left with one sentece that doesn't make any sense.

_She'll never forgive you..._

It's a peculiar thing for Blake to say just before he was almost close to meeting death. Did he know that it would make Four lose his control? Or did he—

Christina's manicured fingers are waving in front of my face and I haven't even noticed. Somewhat annoyed, I bring her hand down to her sides. "What is it?"

"You're thinking about something," she says flatly. "And no, it's not just '_the usual things_'. Something happened with Uriah a while ago, didn't it? Or maybe you're worried about Four." As if on cue, heat rises on my cheeks. This, at least, snaps her out of her neutral look and she starts jumping and squealing.

"You have a crush on him!" She teases. "You've only laid eyes on him, like, twice and you already have a crush on him!"

I could tell that my damn blush isn't fading anytime sooner, which means that anything I might say now she'll think is a lie. I don't care. I open my mouth to protest, but my phone starts ringing. Christina pauses mid-squeal.

I pick it up and the first thing I see is the familiar name that flashes on my screen, which catches Christina's interest. We both know what this means.

Her voice is a mixture of worry and excitement when she speak-whispers. "It's Emilio. You have a fight later. You haven't gotten a fight for the last three weeks."

"I told him I could only do twice or thrice a month since I'm starting school." I admit. I forgot to tell Christina about that, but I suppose she wouldn't mind.

She shakes her head, brows slightly creased. "But fighting is a part of your life; the adrenaline's like a drug to you, you told me—well, answer it first."

I put the phone to my ear. "What's up, Emi?"

"Fighting, money, fighting—the usual." He says jokingly. The sound of peoples' cheering echoes in the background, but I could still make out the sound of his voice. He's probably in the Prep Room. "So...later tonight at eight. Still got your skills?"

I nod, a little eager for this. Hell, a _lot_ eager for this. Truth is that I've been training for the past three weeks, waiting for the call. Since Eric was no longer my mentor, I had to find something else to vent my anger and emptiness on—so I bought a punching bag. Well, three. "Sure."

"Okay. Is Tina going?" His voice is rising to a shout now; the fight must be over. I turn to Christina, expecting her to say yes because 1. She's never missed any of my fights since we met and 2. She said I won't win if my lucky charm isn't with me—meaning her.

But I could notice from the way she looked, with a little more make-up than usual and her hair hanging on her shoulders, that she has different plans. "I forgot to tell you, my date is today... But I could tell him—"

Shaking my head, I wave the idea off. "No, no. I know you really like Will and I don't want this to ruin what could be the only date you'll ever have with him. She can't go." I tell Emilio on the other side. I could feel Emilio frowning; he, too, knows that Christina goes to every fight.

"_Thank you,_" She mouths. Smiling, I mouth back, "_No problem_" while listening to Emilio describe my opponent.

"He's a newbie so be nice to him, okay Tris? I don't know how he got in and why he's suddenly getting a chance to fight with the Joker, but I could tell that he's looking forward to meeting you."

"What's his name?"

He goes silent for a minute that I think he's ended the call, but then he says, "Ryan."

I repeat the name, testing it on my mouth. But when I do, Christina goes silent and stares at me, the color draining from her face. Like a string, she snaps, and surprise quickly turns into anger. She snatches the phone from my hand with a scowl on her beautiful face. "_Emilio_," She barks. "Describe Ryan to me."

Her eyes are clouded with darkness and she's muttering a choice of four-lettered words that would make her Candor mother faint. "Never leave your eyes off her or else we're the ones who'll be fighting next week. Okay?" Pause. "Just _because!_ I'm not going to be there and I'm not happy with her fighting this guy. Ugh, bye." She clicks the end button before handling in to me, her shoulders slouched.

"Are you okay? You seem... angry. You know Ryan?" She shakes her head frantically, as if trying to convince me or her, but I could tell she's hiding something from me. She's been hiding a lot of things from me and I know that what she's hiding isn't one of those small secrets or rumors—it's something worse. But I don't press her for a confrontation, not now. My mind's still trying to decipher the Blake-Four incident.

We resume skipping into random conversations like we did before the call came up until the bell rings and we have to go to our classes. I walk away first, remembering that the training gymnasium (or as I like to call it: "The Gym of Death" due to the abundant smell of blood and stupidi—I mean bravery) is still on the other side of the building. I could feel Christina's eyes focused on me until I am out of her sight.

**~oOo~**

Everything that I was getting used to in DA—the loud chattering, the musky smell of sweat, blood and mixed cologne and unneeded attention—were all there, and even worse, when the crowd saw me at the entrance gates. I wanted to place my hands on my ears to tone down their wild cheers, just like I wanted to do in all of my fights, but decided against it.

"This is so cool!" Uriah whispered-yelled into my ear, making me jump in surprise. I almost forgot that I invited him to join me and watch from the private rooms. Christina insisted that I take someone along with me because she felt like something might happen without her—which is impossible—so I decided to take the only friend who likes what I do. Or should I say, my number one fan?

We continue to make our way through the crowd until we reach the doors to the private room. Standing between it are two tall, bulky men in black suits and a pair of shades. The one on the right bows his head to look at me and my smallness before turning to his partner. He nods to him and the other guy presses a four-letter key into the lock pad on the wall behind him. Seconds later the door swings open, leading to a dark and unlit hallway.

Uriah holds on to my shirt sleeve and I guide him into the darkness until we could see another door under the dim lights. I enter the code on the pad and the door slides open, showing a young man with wavy brown hair and body full of piercings. He glances at Uriah, who is standing behind me, before opening his arms and pulling me into a tight, literally breath-taking hug.

"It's been a while, mate." He smacks a loud, wet kiss on my cheek before pulling back. I give him a disgusted look and wipe the saliva of my cheeks. Sometimes I tend to forget that he has this weird foreign accent and frequently say "mate" after almost every sentence. "You must be Uriah. Christie told me you'll be her replacement tonight." Emilio offers his hand to Uri, but he scowls and doesn't take it. He barks out a husky laugh at Uriah's attitude before introducing himself. "I'm Emilio by the way."

Uri's eyes doesn't widen, but I could tell by the way his body turned rigid that he's surprised. "You're Emilio? I thought you were the old bald dude who announces the introductions and everything."

Emi chuckles and walks away. We don't need a signal to know that we should follow him; Emilio has that kind of attitude in him that makes you want to listen to him and follow him unless he tells you not to. It's irritating. "He's my uncle and we call it a referee." He pronounces slowly, syllable by syllable. Uriah rolls his eyes. "I just joined him in the business 'cause it looked fun. I don't have to go to school, I can watch these fights for free. And I'm the agent of this cutie right here." He tries to put his arm around me but I shrug him off.

The anger and jealousy on Uri's face was too obvious and I can't tell whether it's on purpose or not—but there's also something else there. Sadness, regret, rememrbance. It makes me wonder if maybe this reminded him of the girl he once loved before. But I don't ask him because I know it will hurt him. I know that it will remind him of the person he has lost. I've lost everyone I ever had, including who I was, so I know that what he feels.

We wander through the carpeted halls until we reach the room with _TRIS_ written in capital letters. Emi tells us that he has to attend to one of his other clients, so we say our goodbyes and he strides toward where he came from.

Uriah enters the room first and rests on the couch facing the plasma TV. He looks around the room with excitement and approval before turning to me, his eyes shining. I could see why: he's seen the huge-ass glass on his right which lets anyone who stands from the couch get a view of the arena.

"I'm staying here?" He squeaks. I move to sit beside him and nod my head, hoping he isn't disappointed that he wouldn't be in the crowd. He isn't.

He wraps his arms around me in the tightest hug I have ever received. The way his chin is on my shoulder and his nose is on my hair makes me slightly uncomfortable, but I don't suppose he'd notice the blush on my cheeks. It's a stupid thing, really. I know I don't like Uriah in that kind of way, but there's something about him that makes me want to like him that way. It's both comfortable and horrifying at the same time.

My arms involuntarily move to hug him back, my hands grabbing a fistful of his shirt. I could hear his breathing stop and feel his shoulders tense, but relaxes quickly—but not quick enough for me to not notice—and whispers into my ear: "_Best. Present. Ever._"

_Stop it, Ry. It's the best present ever, you hear me? Best. Present. Ever_—

"Tris?"

I didn't notice that Uriah had already pulled away. I didn't notice that a single tear had escaped me. I didn't notice all of it because those words seem all too familiar, like I've heard them before. And I want to know more now. I want to know what that was, who was talking. I want to know who is Ry—_who is Ry!?_

"S-sorry." I mutter. "I just remembered something."

Hope. It was just a click, a flicker of emotion. It was gone as fast as it came, but I knew what I saw. I saw the hopefulness in his eyes, the fact that he's thinking of something. It makes me curious, and it irritates me; I want to know what he's thinking. I want to know why he's hopeful.

I want to know the answers to each and every one of my questions—who am I? What was my name? Who else knows my past life?—but I can't. Because I don't know who to start with and I don't know what to ask them, what the right questions are. I want to know so many things, but in the end I only want to know my name...

"Do you need to rest?" Uriah says softly. I glance at the clock and shake my head no. "I have to be there in ten minutes. I don't think I can afford the time to rest."

"Tris—"

"No, Ry. I'm fine."

"But." He sighs. "Fine. Good luck, Joker." He loses his grip on my arm which I didn't notice before and leaned down to give me a peck on the cheek. His lips touched my skin longer that I'm not sure "peck" is the right word for it. He slowly pulls back, albeit hesitantly, and leans back on the couch. My body feels cold but I'm pretty sure it's just the air conditioning.

"Bye."

"Bye."

And I am already walking out of the room and into the empty hallways to prepare myself. My mind was too focused—or maybe, perhaps, it's the opposite. Maybe my mind was too unfocused.—to notice one thing. One mistake. One word.

_One name._

Ry.

I called Uriah Ry.

And he didn't notice.

* * *

**A/n**:** Don't forget to leave a review! or else I won't finish it, honestly. **

_Sorry for the slow update. As I said before, I'm already going to school and I've been busy. Every day I only have the time to get on the computer and make my printed homeworks. I'm also busy studying my books in advanced because I need to get a final grade of 99 on Biology. It's a little stressful, but I guess it's the life of a thirteen year old high school sophomore._

_I also found out that I'm the youngest in my batch. All of them are fifteen and forteen and meh. And that my Bio teacher is THE BEST—like the way he talks is amazing. _

_"_Biology is truly beautiful."

"Did you like my voice, girls? It's beautiful right?"

"Yes? Are you sure it's a yes? Really sure? ... Well you're right."

_**MOVING ON**_

_Do any of you guys have some questions? Clarifications? Violent reactions? _

_And don't worry, Four will reappear in the next chapter—I promise._

* * *

**To the anon who posted a review on this chapter:** I am hoping you see this because I will not repeat this again.

I will not tell you who Ry is, or who Ryan is.

Ryan is her opponent. Ryan is her ex. Ry is someone you will find out in the next chapters.

Blake is Caleb? maybe. I don't know. He's adopted/the child of Jeanine Matthews (his full name: Blake Matthews)? Maybe. Maybe.

I told you guys to pay attention. I'm not going to tell anything about what happens in the future and whether they are who you think they are is according to your instincts now.

But, as everyone knows, Four is involved in Tris' past. I mean, I think we already found that out a few chapters ago.


	7. Important announcement!

**(7/7/2013) Announcement: **

Sorry if I tricked you all, but this isn't a chapter. It's a notice.

So I might not be able to continue this story.

And I might only be able to post once a month.

I hope everyone's okay with that.

P.S. I'm really sorry. I'm just really busy with school works and I've been going through a very rough time right now. I've only started with the next chapter and I might only be able to post it by next week. If you guys want to help me, then please wait for me. I promise I'm not leaving this fandom and I'm keeping my word.

I'll update everyone when the next chapter is already up.

**Love you guys,**

**KSPotato/the-warner-syndrome**


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